Learning Chinese is one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. Why?
- Not just because of the thousands of Chinese characters in place of an alphabet
- Not just because of the tones that can give any word a totally different meaning
- Not just because of the zen-like grammar and absence of a past tense
- Not just because of the pronunciation that all sounded the same and made me feel like I had to break dance with my mouth
The biggest reason was the constant stream of embarrassing moments that I had to endure throughout the process.
Some highlights from my awkward and embarrassing moments:
- After one year of Chinese class, I arrive in China. Someone greets me with the customary “你吃饭了吗？– nǐ chīfàn le ma? — Have you eaten yet?” I reply, “sorry, I’ve already eaten.” They go on to explain that they actually didn’t want to eat with me, and that they were just saying hi.
- I go to get a haircut. They quote me the price “一” (yī — one) “百” (bǎi — hundred) 八 (bā — eight). They give me a nice haircut and I give them 108 kuai. They look and ask me where the rest of the money is. I respond forcefully that it’s all there. And I get an expensive Chinese lesson as it dawns on me that 一百八 (yī bǎi bā) actually is shorthand for 180 (一百八十 — yī bǎi bā shí).
- I sit down at a restaurant for lunch. I ask the waitress how much a bowl of dumplings cost – “小姐，水饺一碗多少钱？– xiǎojiě ，shuǐ jiǎo yī wǎn duōshǎo qián?” She looks at me incredulously so I repeat myself. It takes a while to get what I want. Later a friend informs me that based on my tones, what I’d actually been saying was “Miss, how much is one night? — 睡觉一晚多少钱？– shuìjiào yī wǎn duōshǎo qián?”
OK, so that last one didn’t actually happen to me – it’s the example from the picture for this post (thank you, guy in the picture). But I bet that now you’ll never mix up the tones for “dumpling” and “one night” ever again.
This highlights the many advantages and benefits of embarrassing moments:
- Nothing will firmly lodge a word in your memory like a thoroughly embarrassing moment
- Embarrassing moments identify areas for improvement – they’re like personal coaches
- Embarrassment keeps you humble and hungry
- Embarrassing moments give you stories that you can share to brighten everyone else’s day
Enough already, how do I get the free book?
Please join us in celebrating embarrassing moments while learning Chinese by sharing your best ones with us (don’t worry, all posts will be anonymous, unless you prefer otherwise). If your post gets chosen to be published, we’ll give you a $20 Amazon gift certificate, which would be enough for you to get any of these books:
- China (Eyewitness Travel Guides)
- Mr. China: A Memoir
- When China Rules the World: The End of the Western World and the Birth of a New Global Order
- Dragon Rising: An Inside Look at China Today
- Stephen Roach on the Next Asia: Opportunities and Challenges for a New Globalization
- China: Its History and Culture (4th Edition)
- China Road: A Journey into the Future of a Rising Power
- China in the 21st Century: What Everyone Needs to Know
- China: Its History and Culture (4th Edition)
- China’s Rise: Challenges and Opportunities
- Oracle Bones: A Journey Through Time in China
- CHINA: Portrait of a People
- Country Driving: A Chinese Road Trip (P.S.)
- Factory Girls: From Village to City in a Changing China
- Wild Swans : Three Daughters of China
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A very simple mispronunciation; I’m not going through the pain of posting an article about this, but I do recall an incident a few months ago at my favourite 牛肉面 place in Taipei. The middle-aged restaurant owner, a lovely Taiwanese woman, looked surprised and slightly
shocked when I finished my noodles, and tried to tell her that they were delicious:
Instead of:
好吃 / hǎo chī / ㄏㄠˇ ㄔ / delicious
I told her:
好車 / hǎo chē / ㄏㄠˇ ㄔㄜ / nice car!
Haha, yes we’re always talking about the tones, but one thing that is under-appreciated is that every part of Chinese pronunciation is really hard… both the vowels and the consonants. One pronunciation that really killed me was 出去 (chūqù). For the longest time I thought it was just “choochoo.”
Thanks for your comment!